Dear Whore of a Bus Driver

I just thought I'd take a moment to let you know that, while most people might consider your snide commentary to me as I boarded your bus today to be rude and unnecessary, they were, in fact, perfectly valid. You see, it was entirely by my will that the stop light turned red, keeping you at my stop for an extra 45 seconds, and, furthermore, it was wholly by design that I stepped up in front of your door just as the light turned green once more. In this way, the good chance that allowed me to take an earlier bus than I ever intended was my fault and mine alone and I am more than deserving if your dry, biting ridicule.

I'm also amazed that, despite the facts that this is the first time we have ridden together and that I casually sauntered the entire way up to your door, you were somehow preternaturally aware that I "run every morning" to make a bus that I had only taken two other times over the whole of my life.

In conclusion, next time I start to board a bus and see that you are the driver, time permitting, I will turn my ass around and wait for somebody who isn't a total bitch.

-Jon