Dear MATLAB,

You know, for ages, I didn't think much of you. I'd heard the rumors and I knew some guys who *ahem* knew you. "MATLAB is quick and easy," they'd say. "She knows what you want from her and, if you ask her right, she won't make you play any games to get it." Maybe that's the sort of language some people like, but I was convinced you weren't for me. I didn't want any part of code that people like that thought worth talking about, but then this new position came along and I was told we'd be working together whether I liked it or not. My superiors just liked you too much.

After getting to know you this past week or so, though, I'll admit I see the draw. You're not as hideous or wrong as I first thought you to be, though those other guys have made you do some horrible things. You know your client base and what they like, that's for sure, and I'll admit...sometimes I like that kind of stuff, too. Your component-wise matrix operations satisfy me in a way that explicit iteration never has. You don't taunt me when I ask for help, and you're always ready with a suggestion about how I can better use your services.

Still, this new found respect doesn't mean we're anything more than temporary partners. You just don't have the spice that I need. You always want to do the same old things, and forget asking you to wrap your head around anything outside your domain. It just doesn't interest you. Well guess what, MATLAB, it interests me. Also, I just don't feel like I can depend on you. I know that's not a big concern for a lot of guys, but I don't have the slightest idea how you'll respond if and when something goes wrong. Will we be able to recover where we left off, or are you going to just quit on me? Our experience thus far makes me lean towards the latter, and that's just not okay.

I'm sorry, I know that I'm being hard on you, asking you to do things we were never meant to do together...I just need a break. Just for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow, I swear. I mean, we work together, right? It's not like I can hide from you.

You want to know where I'm going? Umm...that's really kind of embarrassing. Oh, alright, I'm going to go hang out with this other language I used to fool around with a bit, ALICE. She's kind of simple, but things were never serious between us, just a bit of fun. A change of pace, you know? Anyway, I promised some folks I'd introduce them to her later, so I want to catch up first and make sure she's ready for it.

-Jon